im losing faith in love.
im losing faith in boys/guys.

my last relaintionship really got me thinking.
havent i gone thru this more den once?

firstly, he says he wont leave me.
he says he wants to b wit me so badly.
and he dont want no other gerls but me.
he says he's gonna marry me.
but after awhile,
he gets bored n decided to leave me.
nt even giving a proper explaination or a proper gdbye.

dat was wad faris did to me.
n now, wan did da same thing.
how come i nvr saw da signs?
how come i nvr saw it coming?
how come i fell fer it again?
i nvr really learn frm my mistakes do i?

ive decided to stop caring.
ive decided to just not give my love so readily.
i shall play hard to get.
i shall b cold.
i shall nt b soft-hearted.

break-ups are nvr easy to handle.
therefore, dey sudnt happen in da ferst place.
and therefore to avoid break-ups, we sud nvr start a relaintionship.
i admire kak shila,
whu remains single till this day.
but she's still happy.
break-ups sud make me stronger.
but y does it leave me crying in da middle of da nyt?
when im alone?
haiz.

so ive tried bein' cold just now.
to dis guy.
i really didnt care.
i knew he wanted me to say sumthing caring/affectionate.
he says noone cares abt him.
n he complains dat sumthing gt into his eye n dat he hasnt eaten n his stomach hurts
so he wants me to say sumthing sweet to him.
but all i cared to say was "o.. "

fer wad purposed do i have to care?
he'll den gave me dat hope.
which would make me feel attached to him.
and den he'll just leave me lyk da others.
n den ill start with my crying n den my drinking.
and den it just starts again.
until sumone new comes along.
n da course just repeats itself.

im sick n tired of it.
i said i need a change.
i want to change.

p.s: i luv my frens n cousins n family.