im bored of almost everything dese days.
i dont know wad brings me happiness, sadness & thrills.
im troubled by my problems.
i have problems in almost everything..
relationships(family,BGR&friends), school, financial etc etc.
i keep thinking abt my problems which just keeps gettin' longer&longer
and which also seems so incredibly hard to solve.
my impossibility of saying 'no' seems to be the major problem.
if only i were much more sterner.
than most of these problems wudnt have occured.
i want the yr to be 2005.
even tho, it wasnt the best year of all my 17 years,
at least i didnt have so many probs&worrys.
and besides that was the yr before i screwed myself up.
if only i can turn back time&chge things here&there.
i think i wudnt have been in this huge bundle of mess.
that year,
i never had to worry abt so many things.
& my life seems almost incredibly perfect&beautiful&so problem-less.
i didnt have much to think abt except fer studies.
BUT thinking back, wad would life be without probs&worrys.
everyone will have probs sooner or later.
every adult would have problems to worry abt.
wad's life without probs?
probs helps us to learn&grow.
in hoping fer us, to not make the same mistakes in the future.
when i was younger, everyone older than me wud always prevent me frm doin certain BAD stuff.
and when i ask y?
they say "dont because it's not good fer u or because it's wrong".
but due to curiousity, i would still do it.
like they say curiousity killed the cat.
ive always hated this phrase,
"we(the adults or those older than us) have tasted more salt than u"
u know it's nvr the same until u've actually tasted the salt itself.
coz' learning things the hard way is actually the best way to learn things,
in my opinion.
im supposed to be doing my assignment.
but everytime i want to type the very first sentence,
i get stuck somehow.
im so fucking pissed.
i can even start of a simple paragraph on ecotourism.
fuck!
+ i hate almost everybody these days.
everyone seems to have a prob. with me.
mayb it's due to me PMS-ing.
BUT i sure want that feeling to go away.
coz' right now,
even im hating myself.